Friday, August 12, 2011

How Were Our Kids Affected?

Early on we were blessed with two wonderful girls who in turn have recently given us two grandchildren to be proud of.

Years ago I posted a question on one of my websites. I wanted to know and understand what kind of impact MS had on our children? You hear so many opinions today it's difficult to know what is best, some people say be open and let them know as soon as you can as they will sense the change in the family dynamics no matter what.

My spouse and I decided to let them know within a few weeks of receiving my diagnosis. Dad's not going to die, there may be changes but nothing we couldn't handle. Still after informing them you can't help but wonder what they are actually thinking, how it really affects them.

Years later when I started my first website I recall asking this question, "how are kids affected."

Wouldn't you know it the first response received was from our oldest daughter and while many years have gone by I felt you may reading her response to my question.

You wonder what impact MS had on me and's really hard to explain cuz it's been so long. Honestly at first I think we didn't know much about it but we knew it was going to affect things. Looking back I think that we saw that you and mom had a lot to deal with together and we kind of stepped back a bit, and I think that we should have been more eager to be involved with how MS affected our family.

We would get really upset about the fact that OUR dad was sick, and we tried to treat you the same as if you were not with MS. I remember one time though we were at Wonderland and some young girl got in the way of your wheelchair and made a mean remark about watching where you were going, and to this day I wish I would have clocked her one. Lol.

Manon and I became really really close I think especially because of the fact that you have MS. I don't know anyone else who's dad has MS except hers ;), and I remember we were really young and we had serious talks about what we would do should anything happen to you or to mom, or if your relationship was very affected. I think it made us really independent and stubborn, which is a good thing. Your'e still the same dad as when I was little, I still look up to you and think you're the smartest and the strongest guy around.

When I think about the fact that you have MS now it is just a part of my life, it's a little bit different than other families but then everyone's got their stories. It's only in the last few years that I've come to realize that there is nothing that I can do about it, to make you specifically better, I mean, so to channel all that frustration I want to be more involved with the whole MS scene, which I regret not having done sooner. I've been talking to a man at the Barrie MS branch because I'd like to start volunteering. I feel terrible that I never got involved sooner, what was I thinking???

Unfortunately going back in time In order to do things differently is not permitted what's done is done we must make the best of our past experiences in the hopes that they will guide us in the future. What I meant buy this? As a parent I should have taken the initiative to enroll our family in a support group from the very start easing the journey for everyone involved.

Have a terrific weekend everyone.

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