What I have difficulty understanding is each time I receive the forms I feel a certain sense of guilt. Not certain why this happens yet it does every time it is impossible for me not to question myself and wonder if I should try harder. Fortunately this premonition of guilt is short-lived.
While filling out the forms actually I don't fill them out my spouse does as I cannot write. I am forced to go through each of my limitations the guilt quickly vanishes and is replaced with anger and disbelief. Constant reminders such as this do not serve as a moral booster. To sit there time and time again confirming no cure, no medication, no treatment coupled with a bleak prognosis does not provide one with a good feeling, how can it?
You don't have to be a brain surgeon to put two and two together and figure out that rehabilitation is out of the question. Do you think the insurance company can? Of course not, they keep sending the forms, I keep sending them back completed and each year the explanation on the doctor's forms gets shorter and shorter, you can almost sense my doctors frustration. Not only am I tired of receiving them it is quite evident the doctor is tired of the repetition. Mind you he charges me 40 or $50 to complete a form I could very well complete by myself . You would think that a company which places its business in the hands of actuaries whose sole purpose is to determine how many people will get sick, how long they will be on sick leave, how many will be on long-term disability, how many will die. Would it be too much to ask for them to become familiar with one of the most common neurological diseases at least in Canada including the different forms the disease can take.
Primary progressive multiple sclerosis does not get better, the disease progresses and the patient has no control over its rate of progression. It should be quite obvious when they are told by five different neurologists that there is no hope in hell of me returning to any type of gainful employment but no. If I could only trade places for a day okay lets say a month at least I'd have time to take another trip down south. Upon my return I am certain I would meet a completely different person with a different perspective of life.
I'd be willing to bet the letters would stop. What do you think?
Mind you I'd be willing to bet they send those letters out to people who have been diagnosed with ALS. Wouldn't that be proof to show how out of touch they are with reality.
Have a great weekend
PS: this is one I am looking forward to tomorrow is our wedding anniversary 34 years and she's still with me!